After the Storm: Thoughts & Nonsense

2007-01-11T17:26:00.000+04:00

After a month of being MIA, i actually forgot the web address of my own blog. That should say something. I don't know if it's because i'm busy or just not bothered, but i lost the drive to blog! Maybe it will come back, who knows? i'm posting today, so thats a start.

Back in England, it feels pretty good, right in a way. The holiday was amazing, Oman is beautiful, it takes my breath away everytime, especially this one, i really rechrged my batteries! And ofcourse baked in the sun, and ate more than i could stomach! It was great, to say the least. Sad to leave, of course, but good to come back. The weather is miserable, i've seen the sun once since i've been back. But there you go, that's what i get for living in England right?!

Funny how i decide to write a post the day before my essay is due, i'm not even half done, i just can't be bothered, my research is so inconclusive, i don't know where to end let alone where to begin, so i've just been surfing the net, and daydreaming. I need to finish, i don't want it to be a sleepless night!

That's it. Life is... Good.

F*** You Blogger

2006-12-03T16:10:00.000+04:00

This is my fourth attempt at writing the same post. Everytime i try and post something it freezes and i lose it. Seeing as i'm exptremely annoyed at the internet now, this is where this post ends.

C'etait Vous

2006-11-08T20:08:00.000+04:00

Perhaps i should've read my last post before writing this one because i don't remember what i said. My root canal is finally over and done with, and my teeth feel great, i can actually shew without pain - and on both sides! I'm having a party with that, of course.

Alot has been happening, i guess that comes with the city. I wouldn't have it any other way. Every day i fall more and more in love with this city, and the people i experience it with. I'm pushing myself to the limit, i can feel it, but i have no time to rest, and i'm dreading the day my body breaks down because of it, and i'm ill again, but every minute i'm not sleeping i'm doing something, and i love it. The sky has been so clear, the air fresh - a rarety for such a polluted city - i can't help but stay out at night, on the balcony, counting how many planes are in the sky at any one moment (he counted 13 - i have my doubts) then laughing till i can no longer see till the sun starts to rise, and then off to the balcony again, to see the mist of the park rise. I love autumn. Funny how it's more now. ThanQ.

Nottingham was interesting, this is the first time i actually saw it, and surprisingly, it was beautiful. The castle has an exhibit on, stuff from local artists, and there were some that just mesmorised me, i was just standing there, for ages, untill i had to be moved away. It was beautiful. A trip to the oldest standing pub in england was great too (1189 AD), it's carved into the rock underneath the castle. That was saturday, and the first half of sunday.

The rest of the days after that were the same, late nights, long days, beautiful sights, and of course, since medical sciences don't get a reading week, lot's of work. At least i'm not alone. Now i get to celebrate two different reading weeks with the people that do!

I'm reviewing my frist book for my job at the London Student paper. It's great. And not a hassle or a chore for me at all. The book isn't what i'd usually read, but the fact that i'm being published for doing something that i love so much, AND i get to keep the book, is insentive enough for me. I hand it in next week.

My computer feels foreign to me, i haven't typed on these keys in over 2 weeks, all the email checking or WEBCT work i've had to do has either been in uni or on someone else's. Seriously, i almost forgot what my desktop looked like untill i saw it again today! Good thing? At least i'm keeping busy. Bad thing? I never spend time in my room! so all the people i've met that i actually live with have also become quite foreign to me. Oh well, all part and parcel.

I'm late. I need to run.

In Recovery

2006-10-28T03:32:00.000+04:00

I was sick. I had the flu (at least thats what i thinkit was, not sure since i never went to the doctor!) I haven't' had it in a while, and it was pretty bad, chesty cough, runny nose, headache, fever, the works. But i'm ok now, so its all good. Or i'm recovering anyway, i'm still coughing, and my nose gets blocked at night, but i think its just the weather. Winter is setting in, it has gone from being refreshingly crisp to cold, in one night! But that's english weather for you! You never really get used to it, no matter how long you live here. The locals themselves seem to get surprised every time the weather changes, and shocked everytime it rains, like it's not supposed to.

Speaking of the rain, it was pouring the other day, and no i don't mean english rain that comes down sideways with the wind and no ubrella can help you, but i mean real rain, like the pouring painful kind, the one that happens once a year in oman and people roam the streets in awe of the blessing, that kind of rain. It's the first time i ever witness it in England, it was beautiful, reminds me of my mother, its very hard to get out of bed when you hear that pouring rain on your window. I love it. And i love the smell of the freshness after, and the sun and rainnbow that comes with it.

Other than that, still looking for an apartment. I was supposed to find one by now, but every single one has SOMETHING wrong with it. Anyway, its coming along, slowly but surely. I'm kinda getting used to the ghetto-ness of Camden, and the filth of this building. But i wont be sad to move.

Decided to make a random trip to the midlands yesterday. Just because i needed a change. I've been in bed alone for a week and just needed to get out of London, if only for a night. And i did, it was great. Nottingham is like Muscat, i kept bumping into random Omani's! But it was fun, next time girls, we should chill, ok? =)

Crush tonite was cool, its an interesting place, they need more ventilation though, too cramped, too many students in one spot! It was fun though, nice to bump into random Uni of Lon people, nice to bump into people i've only met once and remembered they're name, i give myself a pat on the back for that one.

I need an exciting post, but i haven't had time to stare blankly at the coputer screen waiting for an exciting post to pop into my head! Sometime soon maybe, i hope!

Stress Reliever

2006-10-16T04:16:00.000+04:00

Lol, this

made me laugh out loud, and made my day alot better. Check it out.
Enjoy ;)

Art & Love

2006-10-13T23:54:00.000+04:00

I've stated many times before how i love art, the emotions it evokes, and everything that comes with it. Today i went to the National Gallery to see an exhibit of modern classics or something, anyway its called 'From Manet to Picasso'. It was beautiful, to say the least. Anyone in london, or passing through it, should definately check it out, it's free, so no one can see 'i'm not wasting my money to see that rubbish!'

Anyway, i'm falling in love with Monet. He was always one of my favourites, but after today, ---> seeing my favourite pieces of his work right there infront of me, i feel something even more. It was amazing. Seriously. It made my day, definately.

From Monet, to Picasso, to Van Gogh's sunflowers, the gallery was beautiful. I wanna go back before it's over, definately.

I'm in alot of pain, so that's it. I need to look for pain killers.

Busy days and nights

2006-10-11T03:10:00.000+04:00

So i thought as i settled in that things would be less hectic, i'd have more time to read my book, blog, or just chill. But no, it's still just as hectic as ever. Getting anywhere takes at least half an hour so thats an added hour to anywhere i wanna go. Plus school has been crazy, and i've been trying to read up so that i don't fall behind, but that, of course, almost never happens. Although i did get some reading done to do, so i give myself a pat on the back for that.

I went to Egham today. A true English village, or at least it looked like one. Why i was there, well i was dragged, and i wanted to i guess. It was Li's birthday, and so, since she lives in a village, we all went to chill out in the 'boonies' it was interesting, and i, as usual, was very excited at the one platform trin station, and the road that closed when the train passed. And of course, the taxi stand that had only one taxi. Me, being the talkative person that i am, decided to have a nice lengthy conversation with the friendly village taxi driver, as everyone else in the back laughed at the expected.

Egham reminded me of a scene in a horror movie, when a few people are walking somewhere on the side of the road in the mniddle of a forest where the psycho is hiding behind the trees, can you picture the scene? Well that's exactly how it was as we walked to spar to get munchies. A towny popped out of no where behind and said 'that one has an ass like J lo! Turn around hunny' Who was he talking to? My guess is lejo, with his Peruvian round this sticking out. Needless to say, no one turned around.

My teeth still hurt. Aparantly i need a root canal, which i've been booked in for for next thursdya, i have to 'grin and bear' the pain till then. Painful is an understatement. My wisdoms will have to wait till christmas.

I have a 3 hour lab tommorow.. Mediums for growing bacterial clones, and seperating each colony. I don't even know what that means! But i guess i will tommorow. Sound familiar Mimi? Yes, i'm doing micro biology too.

Pain, No Gain

2006-10-01T23:01:00.000+04:00

Love, Pain, and all the Rest - Luis Formaiano

Why aren't dentists included in the NHS plan? Can you imagine how much money they make? Poor doctors... Well they are on NHS, but you still have to pay, and the waiting list is at least 5 weeks. I went private, i can't stay with this pain for 5 weeks! But since my dentist is on campus, i pay about a third of the price of a regular dentist. Handy eh?

My wisdom teeth are growing sideways, causing unbearable pain. I really can't take it. I don't think i've ever felt pain this bad. And why? Becuase i was too scared to go the dentist in Oman because i thought they'd give me an injection, now i have to have an operation!! So the wisdom tooth on my top right jaw is causing my gums to bleed, causing pain. And the one on the bottom is growing at such an acute angle that its pressing against everything and causing even worse pain that shoots up my jaw and into my ear. I can't sleep. I want to cry. Sad huh? Yeah, it really is that painful. I'm just waiting for the ibu-profen to kick in. I'm on anti biotics, not sure for what, i think it's for the gums. They make me sick, like i feel this wierd sick feeling in my stomach. Basically i don't feel good.

My room looks great, very colourful with all the stuff i've put up and around the place. And ofcourse the flower. I can always count on that. It's still a hassle to live in Camden, but the watershed is proving useful! I made a friend in the compound. I've met a bunch of people but all my friends live in other halls. He's great, very interesting to talk to. Funny how you meet some people, i met him because i was curious about his accent, and because i was eavesdropping and heard he was in UCL. I shouldn't be so nosy. I know.

Anyway, on to better news. I've been cooking loads. Cooked for people on friday, then in Leicester this weekend, aunt was teaching me lot's of new yummy dishes that i'm excited about it. I made cream caramel today, but aparently i didn't leave it refrigerated enough and it fell apart, it tasted yummy tho. We live and learn

Lectures from 10 to 5 tommorow. Good luck to me.

My Day (in pictures)

2006-09-30T01:19:00.000+04:00

Camden Town

2006-09-27T02:14:00.000+04:00

I didn't realise i haven't updated in a while. Never thought i'd be so busy. From the moment i wake up to the moment i sleep i'm mad busy, i don't even have a moment to sit and do nothing. Plus i only bought an internet card yesterday so...

Last Friday, second day of international orientation... Ok wait, lemme rewind. I started my orientation on Thrusday, it was for international students so i met loads of people from different place. Enrolling took 3 hours, but it was great because i just stood in the queue and talking to any and everyone in close procsimity. I don't remember names of anyone i met, which is ok because i haven't seen any of them since! On Friday, i didn't have much to do so i went to talk to one of the student ambassadors to explain my homeless state. I had called all the halls in the morning and they all said that they didnt have a room for me except UCL who said that i should go to the office on Monday. She suggested that i go now and make them understand that i REALLY have NO where to live and that i only need it for a term. So i did just that, but i made sure i looked like a lost little girl that was not used to living in the big bad city (girls have so much power) and before i knew it, i was offered a room. I was so exstatic, to say the least, that i didn't bother to ask any questions about the room. I had a roof over my head with hundreds of other students, so i was happy. I was to move into Ifor Evans hall in Camden Town the next day. Camden... Hmm...

It wasn't after i left that i realised Camden is a dodgy area. I wasn't in a place to argue so i went off to Cambridge on saturday morning where SJ was waiting for me, chilled with me and helped me take my many boxes and suitcases to the halls. I was so busy i still didn't think about how i'm gonna live in Camden, i just needed my stuff. We got there, and hour and a half later, and unloaded everything and lugged it up to the second floor. I got my keys and was told there was no bedding - added to the list of things i needed to do/buy.

The room is a descent size, definatlely bigger than my box in Cambridge, but also older and dirtier. I share a bathroom (which has 2 toilets and 2 showers, one which doesnt work, and a wink) with 10 other people. No toilet paper included. 2 boys live in my corridor. So i wasn't very happy. First of all, boys are dirty, and i didn't really wanna be sharing bathroom facilities with them, and second (it had just dawned on me) Camden is pretty far from everything, how am i gonna get to and from people and places?!

We walked from my room to the tube station, and timed how long it took. From the moment i lock the door to the moment i step into the station it's 11 mins. Not so bad right? Wrong, i don't want to be walked around dodgy Camden Town at midnight! Getting to uni is not a problem, there's a bus from my door step to UCL every 10 mins and its a 15 min journey. The bus back is from Tottenham Court Road. So thats what i do when its after 8 pm, where ever i am, i make my way to busy Tottenham Court Road and catch the bus back. I made the walk once at night, and hope to not do it again. Dodgy is an understatement.

Camdent is beautiful, don't get me wrong. It's very cultural, great restaurants, the market is adorable, but after the sun goes down, it's not so adorable! But i'm glad i'm in halls, its a blod of 3 UCL halls, and there are around 900 hundred students so its been great. I've met some people (including beautiful french/irish Eric) but i've been so busy running around i don't know that many because i don't spend enough time here.

On Monday, freshers week started. I met the people on my course, who are pretty cool. (only 14 of us doing Human Genetics, but 400 in the biology department, which will be the size of most of my lectures for the first year) I also signed up for my elective class, i'm doing psycology which i'm pretty excited about. The Uni is great. It's the biggest in london with over 20,000 students, and the campus is all in one area so it's great seeing loads of people and talking to random people who you'll also see once in a while. It's been great so far.

I've also been using these days (because freshers week is pretty empty) to view apartments that i might want to buy. It's hard to find someone that takes you seriously, unless that realise your an arab and probably have cash flowing from you ears. The ones i saw today were alright, but the ones tommorow look pretty promising. The agent i mean in Water Gardens kept calling me Mrs! Can't wait to see the shock on his face when he sees this 20 year old girls walk down the street.

Basically it's been really busy, but that's good right? I can't complain. I'm met some cool people, hung out with aquaintances who are now becoming good friends, and discovering the beautiful London.

My London

2006-09-22T00:41:00.000+04:00

To answer your question Verbose, yes, i am in london. It's been great so far, very very busy and sometimes quite hectic but its been great. I still have no where to live as no one wants to accomodate someone for 3 months. I found one girl, in a 2 bedroom apartment, but 3 girls live in one room and 2 in the other. I don't like that 5 girls are cramped in a tiny 2 bedroom! I have trust issues, and how can i live all my stuff out there for 4 other girls to look through and take as they please?

Anyway, moving on. Today was the first day of orientation! It was actually really good. I had to stand for 3 hours for enrolment but got to talk to loads of people in the queue which was fun. It was a beautiful day, the sun was shining there was a warm breeze, it really was great. =D

Other than that, i've been running around meeting real estate agents that have been treating me like shit because i'm a student and becuase i'm not spending millions on this apartment, quite frustrating really, but i'm determined, and in this bussling city i'm sure i'll find something..

We went to House of Fraser yesterday to see Freddie Ljunberg, it was quite funny actually, he was there signing some autographs or something. That was fun, i was busy window shopping but everyone else seemed to be pretty excited. This weekend i'm supposed to see the Blue Man Group, yeay! i've been dying to watch it for ages, so that's pretty exciting.

Ramadhan soon, gonna be hard considering i have loads of stuff to do in the next month, not to mention my first month of uni. Oh well, i'm excited so... That's it for me.

My Last Few Days

2006-09-18T20:38:00.000+04:00

The last few days in Oman were... Stressful. All of them. I think the only relaxing thing was the amazing sleep on my beautiful bed, but thats about it! Oh and my trip to Mutrah. I love Mutrah. =)

On friday i was calling all the Halls and putting my name on the waiting list, that took hours, and by the time i was done, all the witing lists were full. Straight after that, literally, straight after that, i rushed off to a family lunch. My family being themseleves, this meant that there were 50 people. I'm not exagerating. And that's an ordinary friday lunch. That ofcourse was also stressful, from the 'oh you leaving!'s to the 'its too bad, you would've made such a good doctor' to 'Genetics? You know you're never gonna find a job!'. I've gotten used to it, and if i didn't have a funny remark to answer, i would just nod and smile and let it go in one ear and out the other. That night was games night in my honor. Now that was fun.

Then saturday. i got my hair cut on saturday. I chopped off more than 5 inches, drastic i know, i can barely tie it now, i don't know what i was thinking. I guess i just wanted a change. It was blowdried, and i loved it, but curly... I'm not so sure, i guess i'm just gonna have to find things to do with it. After lunch we went to take studio family photographs, a tradition my family have been doing every 5 years since my parents got married. I don't remember the last one, but this one was stressful, i don't understand why taking pictures has to be stressful! Oh yeah i do, its my last name. All of them are stressful. I'd rather not recall that session. My hair looked fabulous, so i wasn't in a bad mood. =D Then was coffee with my siblings.

Sunday was the day i left, yesterday. I went to say bye to my uncle in the morning, got my eyebrows done and said goobye to a cousin. Then home for lunch with the fam, all seemed to be relaxing untill about 8. Thats when the stress started. My suitcase was overweight, my dad threw a fit. My hand bag was not 'secure' enough and he was sure i was gonna lose my passport! Anyway i ended up getting very stressed, which gives me a headahce because i was frowning so much. It was sad though. I hate saying goodbye, and it was the first time i left my whole family behind. Seeing as they all decided to move back. It was very sad, and i thought it would be quite emotional for me in the plane when all the memories of the summer would coming flooding back, but i passed out and didn't wake up untill 20 mins before i landed in london when they asked me to put my seat upright! So much for sentimentality!

I'm gonna miss Oman. It was a great summer.

Pissed Off Land

2006-09-16T23:36:00.000+04:00

The Scream - Edvard Munch

I'm here again. Feels like home i'm here so often. Maybe i'm over reacting, being over sensitive. Maybe it's leaving. Maybe it's because i have no where to live. Mayb, maybe, maybe.. whatever it is, i'm here, in pissed off land, unfortunately i have no company. Where are you brolly?

Fur

2006-09-12T23:57:00.000+04:00

A conversation at dinner the other night got me thinking. A few months ago, on a trip to the chocolate bar in london, there was a woman outside Harrods warning people not to enter such an 'evil' establishment because they sold fur. I went over to talk to this woman, and she (as usual) showed me pictures of how they hurt and murder these animals blah blah, so i asked her being the nosy person that i am, and also to annoy a friend that was with me (who happened ot be wearing fur) what her point was, and where the money was going. She didn't answer the money question, but said that she felt this was the only was that she felt she was doing something proactive to raise peoples awareness about fur.

Now me, being the sarcastic person that i am was thinking: 'Do you think they don't know? I mean they're spending 100s of pounds on this fur, be it rabbit, or another animal. I'm sure they know that they're paying so much to get the softness of the real animal and not some rough synthesised stuff' but imstead said that what she was doing was great and hope that something is done about it. Then pointed out my friend who had a lining of rabbit fur in her jacket and stated that i was trying to tell her to stop wearing fur! Now i just said that to embarass my already embarassed friend (it amuses me).

Anyway, at dinner, she was retelling her sister this story and we got to talking about fur and our views on it. Her sister said she feels bad and all and would never buy a whole fur coat, but wouldn't mind buying a little scarf or something (to me, that didn't make sense, but hey, i was at her house, and wasn't one to argue) i admitted i LOVE the softness of fur, and always stroke this girls jacket, and was about to state how i would never pay money for it, and wouldn't want one as a gift because i don't believe in it and all that, but i didnt. I realised leather is no different (yes a little bit late, i agree, but it just dawned on me at that moment) how is leather so different? I would never wear mink or buy a zebra rug, these are wild animals and i would never dare do such a thing as buy ivory and stuff, but i eat meat, buy leather products, and drink milk (yummy, milk =)) I also love rabbit and ostrich meat so how is buying rabbit fur, and ostrich leather different from buying cow leather?

My brother argued that he doesn't agree with fur unless (like the cow) the animal is breeded for that (and other) purposes and in which case it is not endangered and it's being used for other purposes such as meat and what not. I don't know. I didn't think about it much so haven't really formed a solid opinions. I have never bought (or were in the situation to even consider) fur, so this debate never really went on in my mind as to whether i should buy it or not. I guess it never really bothered me so much. Yes the human race is a selfish one where animals are neglated and exploited, i know that, but that's not what i mean. It's not like its something i've grown up with, i only ever saw my first fur thing when i left 2 years ago (although my uncle does have that zebra rug thing in his house) so it was never a puzzling issue for me. This conversation got me thinking though, maybe i should think about it more. Later. Now i sleep.

Homeless

2006-09-11T20:19:00.000+04:00

So i mentioned before that i have no where to live right? That's fine because i'm staying with a friend for a week, then i was gonna hopefully stay in halls because i had already applied.

I called the accomodation office today, and i was expecting them to tell me that it was full but i got an intercollegiate halls (because they have so many) but instead the converstation went like this:

'I'm sorry, because you applied late, we have decided not to give you a room'
'So what are the options now?'
'Well the intercollegiate halls open waiting lists on friday, so you should call each, and you can put your name on our waiting list on the 25th'
'Oh right.. ok. I'm just wondering.. I understand i applied late and everything, but would a person in my situation do? I mean, i wasn't entitled to accomodation because UCL was my insurance, and when i could you don't give me a place. I am an international student, so what would another option be?'
'Well, if you contacted me earlier, i would've told you to apply anyway, even if it was your insurance. But yes, this is quite a situation your in.'
'I called the office, and was told if i did apply i wouldn't be considered. Don't i get some sort of priority because i'm an internation student? All i was told was to look into private accomodation, but even that has to be done while i'm in the country to view flats and rooms'
'Well i would advise you to stay in a hostel or hotel untill you find a hall.'
'And if i don't? By the looks of things you guys aren't planning on giving me a room in the halls anytime soon? So i would come from my home country the day of orientation and stay in a hotel till i have somewhere more permanent? I'm sorry, but to me that's ridiculous! Is this punishment because i didn't put UCL as my first choice?'
'You're in a situation, but i'm sorry, there's nothing you can do about it. It's unfortunate.'

Unfortunate? Ok maybe i was a little rude with my last comment, but i was thoroughly annoyed, we have DECIDED not to give you a room? WTF does that mean?! My blood is boiling right now. Seriously! So they want me to stay in a hotel?! Thats ridiculous! if anything they should offer me some sort of temporary accomodation or something. So i am officially homeless from the 25th of september. Bloody UCL.

Lazy

2006-09-08T23:26:00.000+04:00

I've been bitten by the lazy bug.. There's loads i have to do, but when i'm not doing them, i no longer sit infront of the screen pouring out thoughts and checking on everyone else online. Haha, it's only been 3 days since i last blogged, but i guess i'm used to blogging everyday!

The last few days have been great. Lunches, dinners, and the ocasional hang out inbetween. I'm loving it. As usual. Oman never ceases to keep me busy. And i'm sure i will be untill the minute i leave, especially now that the prodigal son has returned.

The house is full again. It's great. Never a dull moment. Lot's of noise, lots of life, that's what a home is right? I remember when i was the only one left in the house, while my brothers were out in the world living they're life. Now they're all returned to 'settle down' and i'm off in a week to live out the rest of my student years. It's kinda sad, it's the first time i'm leaving everyone behind as opposed to shopping with someone because we were both leaving.

Speaking of shopping, i'm in desperate need of a new wallet. First thing to do when i get back to London. Let's just hope it's not stolen like the last one! (my fault, i admit!)

On another note, driving around Muscat no longer frustrates me. The psychotic drivers don't fase me, the traffic doesn't botther me, the almost collisions don't even freak me out (but they do get my attention) why you ask? Well it's because of this man. His face is plastered all over the city, my favourite one being the one of his profile with the 26 at the back, signed on the 6. I wonder how i can get my hands on one of those jerseys.. Yes, i'm like a love struck teenager, like i just saw a super star and am about to faint. I don't know what it is, he is one sexy man..

Anyway, moving on.. I still have loads to do. Only because i've left everything to the last week. I was too busy doing nothing to bother about the week before i leave! It's great isn't it? I need to fit in a trip to Mutrah, i don't want anythign in particular, i just love it!

Will update when i have something more interesting to blog about! =D

Hurt

2006-09-05T22:41:00.001+04:00

I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything

What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

Frustration

2006-09-03T22:42:00.000+04:00

So my blog has started acting up. I realised a while ago that my archives was stuck on July 2006, and the months of august and now september were not showing. So i tried to fix and it, and did so succesfully, but that screwed up the entire blog. The page where i post my entries disapeared, so i started to panic.

I spent all of last night looking for the missing page and found out that it shifting to the left and down (like the page where all my links are now) and so i fixed it, and everything was fine, at least it was on firefoz. When checking it out on explorer, the entries page was still missing, and i spent at least 5 hours fiddling with the template and trying to fix it with no success. Today i decided to try again, with no luck. I got the entries page back, but then suddenly the 'Welcome' page which is what you should see when u first enter the site disapeared and so did the page with the 'Links,' and so i spent all day trying to fix it, with no luck (as you can see now).

At least the entries page is there right? I've tried and tried.. It's not working, and it's pissing me off! It's driving me up the wall, and giving me a headache because i'm staring at the computer for so long trying to read HTML and type in codes i don't even understand! This template has been giving me trouble from the start, so what's the solution? Maybe a new template, something simpler.. But i love this one! I put my heart and soul into it. I really did. And when i was working on it, and i had a lot more free time. Now, with only 2 weeks left in the country, i have loads to do, and coming home to a blog that's half damaged is not helping.

I'm giving myself one more day. If i can't fix this, i'm changing the template. Am i giving up too easily?

Memories

2006-09-03T16:23:00.000+04:00

Tagged by Lym

2006-09-01T11:49:00.000+04:00

Because i have nothing else to do...

~Are you happy with your blog, the template and what you write?
Yeah, its still new so.. but yes, i'm happy with it.

~Does your family know about your blog?
I dont know honestly. maybe.

~Are you embarrassed to tell a friend about your blog? or do you consider it something personal?
No, most of my friends know and read it. It something personal, but why wouldn't i want to share it with my friends?

~Did blogs brought a positive impact on your thoughts? If the answer is yes, give examples.
I'm not sure what this question is asking..

~Do you only visit blogs that visit you or do you explore other blog?
Both.

~What the does visitor count mean to you? and do you think it's important to put it?
I dont have a counter. And i doubt it would mean anything. I prefer the map thingy.

~Do you try t0 picture your friends in blogs?
No.

~Do you see a real benefit from blogging?
Yeah, not only is it a way of keeping in touch, it's also a way to vent thoughts.

~Do you thing that the blogging society is an isolated society or it reflects what's happening around us?
This is another question that doesn't make sense.

~Are you bothered with criticism? or you feel its healthy?
Healthy. Definately. Why would you share your thoughts to the world if you weren't expecting criticism of some sort?

~Are you scared of Political Blogs?
No.

~Were you shocked by the arrest of some bloggers?
I didnt know. But i'm shocked now.

~Did you think of what will happen to this blog when you die?
No. Lol.

~Whats the song you would like to link it to this blog?
I think it would depend on my mood. it would have to be a different song for every post.

Truth

2006-08-30T19:34:00.000+04:00

You Are an Orange Flower

An orange flower tends to represent boldness, energy, and warmth.
At times, you are courageous, like a poplar tree.
And at other times, you are hopeful, like an orange iris.
And more than you wish, you bond too quickly to people, like a honeysuckle.

What Color Flower Are You?

I do love orange..

A Conversation with Him

2006-08-29T19:19:00.000+04:00

Him: My ancestors were kings, and untill now, my fathers family are very proud, and often insult all the other races/families because of it.

Me: And you participate? What makes you any better than anyone else, the fact that somewhere in that long line of ancestors there was a king?

Him: I do, but just as a joke. These little comments piss my mom off, and i find it funny.

Me: But you mean it, deep down, don't you?

Him: My family are very proud, and yes they can be racist, but its my blood.

Me: Your not answering my question.. this has nothing ot do with blood.

Him: I grew up with racist comments all my childhood.

Me: My gradfather was murdered in Africa, and i grew up with my grandma resenting them,
despite the blood running threw our veins, that doesn't mean that i should turn out racist as well!

Him: Well it was different in those times, it was ok. Now its frowned upon, so i don't think like that.

Me: Nothing justifies racism, no matter what time it is.

Him: So your grandma is not justified to be racist?

Me: NO! She can be angry yes, but what one man, or even one country did to her, or her husband doesn't mean she or anyone else can condemn the whole race.

Him: I guess, but when i make comments i'm just joking babe, don't make a big deal out of it.

Me (thuroughly annoyed): It doesn't matter, you said it yourself that you mean it sometimes, that you grew up with it. Like thats an excuse for you to be like that. Come on, you had a great education, you know what the world is like, open your mind, you're not the greatest, and neither am i.

Him: Yeah, but it's my lineage, and i love it. My family are proud, and so am i.

Me: Because of ancestry?! I think people need to let go of the past.

Him: I think not.

Me: Well i guess we just have different opinions then.

An annoying conversation to say the leastl. I have always felt strongly about racism, when it comes from the heart, and you can always tell when it is. We all make fun of other people, always, but it's always half hearted, just for a laugh, a comment thats forgotten in a minute. Or after a nice good bake in the sun, i always go home and show off my tan to my mom calling myself a blacky (which i really am at this point) but what i'm talking about is when people (especially the older generation) say things like 'don't you think of bringing home a ___, it would be a disgrace!' and i'm sure you've all heard it, with a different race or tribe or nationality filled in the blank. I have, and i know most of the poeple i know have as well.

We grow up and let it go in one ear and out the ear, laughing at the ignorance of grandparents. But what's really sad is when its deep set in the child's mind, and they always have this image and idea of other people. Make your own opinion for god's sake!

Like i said, nothing justifies racism or prejudice. At least that's what i think. If not nothing then VERY little. That's just my opinion.

'Prejudice is opinion without judgment.' - Voltaire

What does music do for you?

2006-08-28T22:34:00.000+04:00

That was a question on Mise's blog.. and it got my mind racing. There was so much on my mind today, but that simple question reverted it to a world that i often lose myself in. I don't know what music does for you, but i do know what it does for me.

Lauryn Hill: 'You're part of my identity.'

I can't imagine a day without music, i wake up to it, sleep to it, study to it, read to it, shower to it (i really do) it's just so integrated into my life. ' You're a slave to music' someone once told me, and that's probably true. I don't often know what i truly have a passion for, but i know music is one. And it's scary how dependant i've grown to it. I can't travel without earphone's in my ears, i can't sleep without the soft backround of music, and i can't wake up in a good mood unless i hear music as soon as i open my eyes. Crazy? Maybe.. but it's such a beautiful thing.

Jack Johnson: 'When you're so lonely, lying in bed..'

It's amazing how people can come up with tunes that can make you laugh cry dance and sing along all at the same time. Now maybe you won't like everything you hear, god knows i don't, but you have to appreciate the emotion and creativity that went into creating it. Scratch that, i'm not talking about every single song, i'm not talking about sell-outs that make music for money, i mean people who have a passion for it, truly, and make music beacuse they want the world to feel what they felt when it was created. They want the world to know what it's like to get lost in music.

Erykah Badu: 'I met him when i was a little girl, He gave me poetry, He was my friend'

I remember the moment i fell in love. In a house in ruwi, with a woman named Anahita, guiding my figures, pushing them down on white keys that when played together made beautiful tunes. She was my first. My dad called her a witch, always charging ridiculous fees to teach a 6 year old. But he handed over the cash with a smile, he couldn't wait till i could really play. And when i did, 3 year later, when i sat my first exam, he kissed my cheeck. I came home with a brand new black yamaha sitting infront of me, waiting. 'For passing your first exam' I couldn't believe it, it was beautiful. He was so supportive. I reminded him of his father, a maestro in his time, and for that memory, my lessons were priceless. I never stopped loving it.

Norah Jones: 'Feelin the same way all over again'

It sucks that everytime i come back and play i've forgotten that much more. I can't play when i'm there, i dont have a piano, and didnt have access to one. In London i'll hopefully have the oppurtunity to, but still, it really is sad. And frustrating, to sit there, and start at sheets of what i know is beauty i can no longer portray. But i try, every morning, when the house is empty, so i don't have someone looking over my shoulder, or shutting doors, or pretending to appreciate, or make me nervous. I'm alone, to late the sound echo, and take me back.

Coldplay: 'There's always one for everyday'

Music really does inspire me. It gets me lost in thought. It encourages me to start my day, to get up and dance, to study, whatever it may be. I'm exagerating? No. I really am not. There's something about those beats, those words, it just triggers different parts of my brain i guess. I don't know. I just think theres a lot to learn when reading things, books articles blogs, and music, the words can often reflect something thats happening in your life, hence the strong connection to it. Like Mise said: 'Music should make you happy when you're down, relax you when you're stressed, make you sing out loud in the car and in the shower, make you run faster and farther, make you dance like a dervish, fill you with joy when you're in love and make you cry when you're heart-broken.' I agree, almost 100% (it doesn't always make me happy when i'm sad).

Air: ' All in all there's something to give,
All in all there's something to do,
All in all there's something to live,
With you ...'

That's what it does for me. Everyminute of everyday.

House Hunting

2006-08-27T12:27:00.000+04:00

Is this the longest i've ever not updated? I think it is.. it's just everytime i come online i'm looking if i heard responsees about my accomodation ext semester and it's always bad news so it pissed me off, puts me in a bad mood, and i end up going offline and avoiding the computer at all costs, and so i don't end up updating!

I wrote a really long post complaining about my living situation, but i decided to delete it, it was too much whining, even i couldn't stand reading it so why should i subject everyone else to it? I'll find somewhere eventually, it's London after all! How bad can it be?

I've been thinking alot about everything (as usually) but mainly people, and how relationships change. It's sad sometimes, but you move on, grow change, and sometimes in different directions. What's worse is it doesn't really bother me, i mean it happens right? I think i take comfort in the fact that we live in different countries. I don't know. Just a thought.

I'm not inspired to write anything exciting or very interesting, so i'm gonna stop here, and wait for inspiration to come. =D

Omani Cinemas

2006-08-23T01:14:00.000+04:00

So i went to watch The Breakup today. It was alright, just alright, not even that entertaining, but i had nothing to do so decided to tag alone. I left the theatre thuroughly annoyed, what is it with omani's and the need to talk suring a movie? I don't get it!

I've learnt to tolerato talking during the movie, ok so you have verbal diarrhoea, and can't keep they're mouths shut. Fine. I can take it. And i've even learnt to tolerate people answering they're phones (which were not on silent) and have a full blown conversation in the middle of the movie. Some people have no manners, and never heard of the silent option or the wait till the movie is done option. Fine. I'll take it. But what i can't take is when people are shouting at the screen and have running commentary. I'm not watching a football match, i really have no interest as to what your views are on the love scene, or Jenifer Aniston's naked silhouette, or even the drawaing of a naked butt. I really do not, and would appreciate if you could just SHUT UP!

Yes, i am very frustrated. I think its the countless number of movies i've watch in the last 2 months in the cinemas in Oman that have finally caught up with me. But i really don't get it, i mean why the need to talk? Do people not know that people pay money to go and watch a movie on a big screen in silence so that they can enjoy it? If you can't contain yourself, wait a few months and rent it. No one is gonna mind you screaming at your own TV screen. It really irritates me. God.

On a lighter note, i did my first tag today! :D which i was very excited about. I've never been tagged before, and quite enjoyed doing that one. So for those of you that i've tagged, get started on it ;)

Tagged by Mise

2006-08-22T23:33:00.000+04:00

I'm thinking about: Everything and nothing.
I said: (to my brother) Life is about change, this'll be good for you.
I want to: Be on the beach.
I wish: I could fly.
I hear: Things i shouldn't.
I wonder: Why i think too much.
I regret: Nothing.
I am: Sensitive.
I dance: all the time, everywhere i go.
I sing: in the car (and loudly).
I cry: about the silliest things.
I'm not always: As i seem.
I make with my hands: Gifts for the people i love.
I write: Not often enough.
I confuse: Days of the week.
I need: A nice big hug.

I tag: Mimi, Verbose, Lym, Anneliz, Nk & Nancy

Book Review

2006-08-20T00:02:00.000+04:00

So after i lost the book on the plane, i was thuroughly annoyed. what was i gonna do in turkey on those long bus rides, and whilst lounging on the beach? Let me just say, it was almost IMPOSSIBLE to find an english novel to read. I only found one store, and the only english books they sold were related to turkey. So i gave up and gave, and picked up this book: Beyond the Orchard by Azize Ethem.

It's about an english woman that marries a turk who was an ottoman prince and after exile they lived in Saudi. They then move to Turkey in the 80s, before all the tourism kicked in, in a little village. It's just basically about her setting up her life in Turkey. It may not sound like very much, and it is a quick read, but after being there it's very easy to picture, so i really enjoyed it.

It's first person narration, which i don't always enjoy, but it was a very light read, and all the little drawing in it to illustrate little things that were happening really brought character to the book. She was very real, and very honest, and had alot of love for the people and place she was living in. I enjoyed it, and recommend it to anyone who's been to turkey, or who wouldn't mind a quick light read.

Verbose, i bought The Kite Runner =)

There is no mistaking a real book when one meets it. It is like falling in love.' - Christopher Morley

Apres la tempete

2006-08-19T14:26:00.000+04:00

I haven't been very emotional in a long time, and i guess this weekend was refreshing in it's own respect. After getting my grades at lunch on thursday, i was shocked, too shocked to react. I didn't get the grades for medical school, and i guess in the back of my mind i knew that, but everyone kept saying 'you'll be fine, you know you will' i guess they didn't get that when i was saying 'i don't think i'll make the grade', i was serious. And i didn't.

It was very emotional, or at least it started being, when i contacted the university and they said they had already given my place away, and although i did come very close, i just didn't make it. And even more emotional when my personal tutor told me 'there's no clearing for medicine'.

'What am i gonna do?' was the only thought that kept going through my mind, throbbing at my brain like a migrane. I was in dubai, with a fun filled weekend planned ahead of me, my cousins were upstairs getting ready for Wild Wadi, my brother was coming back to the hotel to pick us up, my parents were shocked and disapointed, while I was trying to determine the rest of my life. So i sat there, staring at the computer screen, when my brother walked in, and asked 'so? How did it go?!' and right there and then, after being composed for the last 2 hours, i burst into tears. He has been in the exact same situation, and the sencerity in his eyes, and the concern in his voice got to me. His advice: 'Take it easy, have a great weekend, we'll deal with it, together, when we get back to Oman tommorow. Staying here is not gonna solve anything.' And that's exactly what i did.

The weekend was great. Buddha Bar is beautiful, extremely expensive, but beautiful. Wild Wadi was loads of fun, Shocho was yummy, and Trilogy was cool. I bumped into three people, one i have seen in 3 years, and is now engaged and living in Dubai. The other 2 i haven't seen in 2 years, and everytime i come to oman i don't see them, but at a club in Dubai i bump into them! Small world. I hardly thought about my current situation, and that's exactly what i needed. I had the whole 4 hour car ride back to think about it, then face the family to 'discuss my future.'

It hadn't really sunk in fully then, so i couldn't really express anything, the tears were streaming down my face, and all i wanted was to be alone, and think about it. I heard what everyone had to say, and excused myself. I needed someone to talk to, i needed a shoulder to cry, i needed to get it out of my system so i could deal with it. I got that last night, and now i feel much better.

Now my emotions have been pushed aside. I guess its a build up of months of not crying or something, whatever it was, i am surprised as to how i reacted. I feel much better, alot more clearminded, and armed with a plan. I've been doing research, and although my parents are not too happy with what i'm leaning towards (or almost decided) they're going to support me. It's MY future after all.

I still have no idea what's gonna happen, apart from a rough plan, but its gonna be something completely different. The first thing thats not planned, the first time i didn't succeed, the first time my parents are disappointed. Things happen for a reason, and right now there's no point in dwelling, it'll all work out inshallah, i know it will. I'm not ok, but i will be.

'Spend all your time waiting
for that second chance
for a break that would make it okay
there's always one reason
to feel not good enough
and it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
oh beautiful release
memory seeps from my veins
let me be empty
and weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight'

Waiting for Judgement

2006-08-16T11:57:00.000+04:00

So i'm settling back into the doing nothing life. It's great, don't get me wrong, i love lazing around. But these next few weeks are going to be different from the last and the ones before i went to Turkey. Tommorow is my day of judgement.

I finished my exams on the 26th of june, and because the UK is so backword, they need to months to correct the exams, and so i get my grades tommorow, at 4pm Oman time. I'm extremely worried, and completely mentally unprepared, i thought they were coming out on the 19th (but thats a saturday, i dont know why i thought that), and i have a feeling that the lines are going to be so busy and when i try and call the college tommorow (because england have not adopted the online concept) i won't even get my grades, and i'll spend another night worrying about my fate. I really don't know how they're gonna turn out, and depending on them, my future is determined. Whether it means going back to england or moving to another country, or changing my major, all we be reveiled in 28 hours. I'm apprehensive, can you tell?

And so, to get my mind off things, and recieve my results in an atmosphere that will make me forget the misery, or celebrate the victory, i'm off to Dubai again with my siblings, this time there is no shopping, but more exploring of Dubai's nightlife. I'm looking forward to it, and to wild wadi tommorow. I haven't been to a water park in ages! =D

On another note, i got a much needed pedicure yesterday, and a manicure since i was there. My feet are now nice and soft, and my nails are pretty =D. I love these little pamperings that we get so cheap in this part of the world. My nails look great, even though my brother said 'can't you do that at home? whats the point of paying money for it?' men... will they never understand the little luxuries in life?

The next time i post, i'll either be very happy, or exptremely traumatized.

'In these matters the only certainty is that nothing is certain.' - Pliny the Elder

Pics: Random (Turkey)

2006-08-15T15:22:00.000+04:00

So i'm back in Muscaat. It's been a great trip, really it has. Anyway, as promised, here are a bunch of pictures. Enjoy!

Looks like snow, i know. They're calcium terraces at Pamukkale.

The mountain village of Sirince.

Sunset at Chanakkale.

The one on the right is a public toilet, i couldn't imagine using it, it freaks me out!

Pics: Ancient cities

2006-08-15T14:23:00.000+04:00

Troy

Pergamum

Ephesus

What's left of the Temple of Artemis. One of the seven wonders of the ancient world. This temple at Ephesus was built in worship of the Godess Artemis, Goddess of the Moon, in 550 BC. The column seen in the picture is the only one left standing from 127 just like it. It was destroyed in 401 AD.

Heriopollis

Pics: Istanbul

2006-08-15T13:40:00.000+04:00

Old Istanbul. / Blue Mosque by night.

Blue Mosque by day / Inside the Blue mosque.

Hagia Sofia (temple/church/mosuqe/museum) / Inside Hagia Sophia

View from the Topkapi Palace / The Grand Bazaar

Whirling Dervishes

The Suleimaniye Mosque / Istanbul from the Bosphorus.

Turkey 6: Burak's Istanbul

2006-08-12T20:19:00.000+04:00

We got to Istanbul yesterday afternoon and hit Istiklal street immediately. Apparently its the Oxford street of Istanbul, complete with lots of arabs and those people who stop you to sign up for one charity or another. We didnt stop going untill about 8pm, it was shop shop shop non-stop for 5 hours! It was great, i haven't done that in a while.. After that, i got in touch with Burak, an old friend i met in Cambridge, he said he'd meet me then but it had been a long day and told him to get his ass up early and spend the day with me.

He was up at 9am, poor guy, and said he'd meet me at 11 (he lives on the Asian side) and at 11 exactly he came to pick me up. I was very impressed. Afteer formal introductions with my parents, he whisked me off and said 'I wanna show you my side of Istanbul'. It was amazing.. I couıldn't have asked for a better day.

First we went to the asian side to a cafe on the ocean (literally, built on a wooden platform over the water) where we had coffee and i enjoyed spectacular views 'You haven't seen anything yet!' We then drove to a street filled with fancy boutiqes so he could introduce me to his girlfriend (she was working there for the summer) and then off we went to a little spot near the bridge where the view was breathtaking, i took pictures then we went for lunch. I said i wanted to eat somewhere by the sea, and he took me back to the European side to a trendy little cafe called The House Cafe. Great music (Brolly, they played strange transmissions. i miss u!), great atmosphere, great view, and great food though it took about an hour for it to finally get there. We talked about Cambridge, about the first day we met, about the building we lived in, and about the future. I hadn't seen him in a while and had almost forgotten what it was like to chill with him. The highlight of the meal was this lemon mint juice that had a fan of green apples and a slice of an orange in the glass, it was so yummy! With lemon mint, the mint can somtimes be over powering but this was perfect, or maybe it was the setting, whatever it was, the munching of apples whilst sipping that juice was fantastic.

We then walked through a market, where i bought my mom a scarf. This wasn't like the other markets, not so hectic. You can't haggle here, and the sales people where alot more friendly and the customers where all young and beautiful. The pieces they had were beautiful too, all hand made and original, Burak bought me a Nazar (evil eye protector) for my room, a big blue glass one, 'for good luck' he said. After that, he showed me his favourite mosque, which was also right on the water and the Bosphorus bridge passed very close, it was an amazing spot. Pictures were taken, i shared my fascination, and we moved on.

'I wanna show you my favorite cafe, we can have Nargile.' We went to a busy row of cafes, one after the other, all facing the ocean, and we went to on enear the centre. He ordered a sheeshe (or nargile as they call it) and asked for a Tavla (backgammon). I was very excited, everywhere i went i saw the turks playing backgammon, and since ive only ever played it once before, i was very excited. After a quick tutorial, we played 2 games, and talked. By this time it was 430pm and i needed to be headed back to my dad who was not feeling too well. So we go back into the car and he showed me where all the night life was, where he partyed and where he met his current girlfriend, and then it was time to end the day, and we drove back towards my hotel.

It was great. Not only did i get to see parts of Istanbul i know i wouldn't have seen without him, i also got to know a side of him i hadn't seen before. It was great, and a little surreal, the whole setting was strange, im not sure why. He made me love Istanbul that much more.

Tommorow (inshallah), we fly back to the gulf.

Turkey 5: Sirince - Mountain Village

2006-08-10T16:16:00.000+04:00

To answer you question mise, the turkish bath was AMAZING! So refreshing, you feel like you come out with a new layer of skin much healthier than before. My mom wanted to go to the one in the hotel but i insisted on going to an authentic one in the town, so we got one recommended by the hotel. From the outside it was a regular concrete box that said 'Hamam' and other things in turkish. But on the inside it was beautiful, everything was marble, everything, from the floor to the wall to the platform where they do the massage.

After paying they hand you the little towel that you wrap around your waste, and a key to a locker to keep your things. After tryin to cover my body with the towel that barely wraps around a leg i walked to the big round marble table that lay in the centre of the room and where on each side there was another person getting massaged. The woman told me to lower the towel to my waist and lie on my stomach on the table, after that she began with the scrub of a lifetime, and you could almost feel all the dirt or toxins or whatever come out, it was great. After that, somehow, i was covered in foam, and the massage began. It really was quite the massage, where your arms and legs are thrown about and ur body is pressed with a force you'd think would be extremely painful but infact it was very soothing. And just as your enjoying the massage and falling asleep, a bucket of water is thrown at you to clear the foam away. That was it, a turkish bath. My mom went to on to get a face mask and an oil massage, but i left and felt refreshed. Anyone going to Turkey should get one.

A couple of days ago, my dad and i decided to have dinner in the hotel, so we get the food (its a bufffet) and walk out to find a table with a view, as soon as i walk out i see RMR, i was so shocked! My dad told me his friend was gonna be staying in the same hotel, and that he was coming with his two kids, who woulda thought that he was one of the kids? Anyway, it was great, i never really spoke to him, he was just a friend of a friend, but he's a good guy, with gorgeous eyes. Today (since we didnt go to Greece and had nothing to do) we joined them for a trip to a mountain top village called Sirince (pronounced sirinjay). It was amazing, the only authentic untouched unspoiled village i've been to in Turkey. The locals were very welcoming and very friendly. The town was a greek town, but when the greeks lef the turks moved and didnt bother to change the structure, so the town looked very different from others. It was beautiful, really, and had every fruit growing in the mountains, from peaches to olives to oranges to apples to grapes. It was amazing. The town is actually known for its wine, and a wine tasting tour can be taken, but we just walked around, explored the little cobble stone alleyways and saw a tiny church built by St. John in the 1st century AD. It really was a great day. A change from all the organised tours and all the Roman or Greek or Ottoman relics, this was just a village as it was everyday. I bought a bag and my mom and RMR's sister bought one as well so the shopkeeper gave us all bracelets after realising none of us where wearing anything with the evil eye protector and was shocked. So i now have a wooden bracelet with little blue eyes to protect me. I love it.

In this little village i stumbled into a shop whilst everyone else was fascinated with all the fruits and guessing what tree bore what fruit. Inside was like a treasure cove, filled with one of a kind jewelery and art work. It was amazing, and i fell inlove with a necklace that had 5 original Ottoman coins. It was a little pricey, and i wasnt willing to pay the price that was on the tag, but i also wasn't willing to walk out of the shop without it. So i stayed and admired all the other little things on offer, and the paintings and calligraphy on the walls. The very friendly very cute salesmen said i was his first customer and (since he noticed me gawking at the necklace) would give me a good price. The tag was in euros and he said he's give me the same price in turkish liras, which would be exatcly half. It was still a little pricey. So as i let the price swim around in my head, i asked who the artist was (the style was very similar so i assumed it was the same artist for all the paintings). The salesman said, very humbley, 'me'. Really? Wow... this was amazing stuff, so he was the artist. I asked him what else he did, and he said, 'everything.' Everything in that shop (except the antique furniture) was hand crafted by him, all the jewellery, all the pots and hand painted ceramics, all the paintings and calligraphy. I couldn't believe it. It was beautiful. I offered a price for the necklace, and he agreed. He said it was bad luck to argue with the first customer. And i told him that he made gorgeous stuff, and took his business card. I then called the rest, and anouned that this man was the artist, and he said 'no, i'm not an artist, but i did make these things.' Everyone found something they liked, and because of me he offered very reasonable prices. I was glad. You couldn't find that stuff anywhere else, i'm sure. An i was even happier when a small group of british tourists walked in and said 'wow, this place is filled wiht treasures! come dear, look at this!' It was beautiful, and hopefully next time i come to Turkey i can go back.

Tommorow, we're going back to Istanbul.

Greece: Samos Island

2006-08-09T19:44:00.000+04:00

So i woke up yesterday all excited to be going to greece and chilling on the beach working on my tan, having no worries, just chilling, it was gonna be great, i felt it in my bones. So my bags were packed and i was psyched to get on a short ferry ride and cross the border into greece where the beaches are not as rocky as the ones on the side of Turkey i was on.

Up at 645 to get ready for the bus that was to pick us up at 725 to make a ferry that departed at 830, we were ready on the bus and got to the port at 8, just enough time to go through immigration and stuff. The guy who was to handle the passports was collecting them from everyone in the bus, as we walked up to him an handed over the red passports with the golden khanjar he looked at it and frowned.

'Visa?'
'Yes, shngen visa'
'Sorry, no Oman people in greece. Go back to hotel.'
'Excuse me?'
'Yes, last week i had other Arabics people and when they got off boat they were sent back. I don't want trouble, and if you sent back, i'm in trouble, my boss in trouble, so no entry.'
'But we have a shengen visa issued by the embassy! Look!'
'I don't care. Visa does not matter. Those Arabics people also had visa but not allowed, Samos island is different.'
' But i've been to Greece before.... Look...'
' I dont care!!! Samos is different! I dont want trouble, finish!'
'I'm sorry, we've come all this way, who can i apeal to? Where is the immigration officer?'
'Its MY boat, and i will not let you on. So go.'

The conversation went on like this with my father getting very heated, and the already rude person who i'm guessing was the captain was getting even more heated. Calls were made, to the omani embassy in Turkey, to the travel agent, to the hotel. But no luck, apparently Omani's have had trouble before. The embassy said that if you fly into Greece its ok, but my sea they give you trouble and so its best if you just stay in Turkey. Needless to say, we were all disapointed, and i took a nap in the hotel before going and chilling on the deck on the sea that was the beach. Looks like were spending more time in Kushadasi then...

Turkey 4: Kushadasi - Meditteranean Paradise

2006-08-09T19:03:00.000+04:00

After seeing Troy (which was a little disapointing) and Pergamon (which was a amazing) i decided i was gonna take a class on Greek Mythology, how did people come with these things? All the gods and the temples dedicated to worship them, the stories the tragedies all of it, its amazing. At least i think so. Pergamon is beautiful, over 3000 years old it still stood strong in all its glory. An acroppolis built to be the capital of the greek empire it was conquered by many people after that including Alexander the great who then built the Temple of Athena in the city. Apparently, the applause first started there, in they're theatre. It first started because the emperor kept falling asleep during plays and so the audience decided to start clapping informing him the show was over and he should wake up, and ever since people have clapped to show approcal. It was gorgeous.

Kushadasi is on the mediteranean coast, the water is beautiful, the beach is beautiful, the sunsets are bright red, and the sky is as blue as blue can be. We've taken loads of tours starting here like Ephesus which was...... I don't think i can describe it, i thought Pergamon was great, but this i was not expecting. From the beautiful original mosaic tiles to the magnificent library, it was great, really. And ofcourse i look forward to my mediteranean swims at the end of each day.

I have never been anywhere where people smoke so much. There is no such thing as a non-room, or restaurant, or anything. Everyone smokes everywhere. It's crazy, i'm shocked that in this day and age smoking is so prevalent throughout the country. But they enjoy they're smokes, you can definately see that. I don't mind the smell of smoke, but i think its starting to nausiate me because of how much i've inhaled it. Another thing with the turks; if you go to a market place or a tour you'll see that the salesmen and guides speak almost every language in the world, its amazing. But everyone else, so the rest of the 75 million do no speak a word, and its so hard to communicate. I read somehwere the turkey's second language was french, so i said i'd try and speak what little french i know just so that i can get some answers, and it helped, but maybe 3 out of the 1000 times i tried. I've given up, and now know how to understand they're sign language, but to convince my parents that what i think they're saying is another thing, so i just sit and observe as frustration takes over the room, and in the end it was what i guessed. But it's been good so far. Better than i thought.

Turkey 3: Chanakkale - By the sea

2006-08-04T22:30:00.000+04:00

After waking up at 6 am this morning to take a trip to Gallipoli (a world war one memorial - which i have documented in pictures) we took a ferry to the Asian side to a fisherman's town called Chanakkale. Its amazing, i watched a gorgeous sunset, took a swim in the rocky beach, ate and now, on the internet.

The war memorial was not something i really wanted to see. I thought i knew why, but after the 5 hour tour i think i feel a little different. The little old man that was our tour guide was so passionate, and told great stories, he talked about it like it happened yesterday, and seemed totally un-biased. I dont know if i'll want to visit many others, but this one was worth seeing. It evoked alot of emotion, just walking across miles of different cemeteries knowing that i was walking on people that died fighting for they're country, most of them probably didnt even want to. It was sad to see the trenches, the photographs, the statues, the 'lest we forget's the white roses planted on the Muslim mass grave. It was all just very emotional. The guide was amazing though.

It's been a long day, and everyone seems to be in a bad mood. I dont know what it is, but i needed to get away, hence the solitary dip. I guess i've gotten used to spending so much time alone things are getting to me, or maybe it's the heat, whatever it is it's driving me up the wall.

Tommorow, i take a turkish bath.

Turkey 2: Istanbul - Whirling dervishes & the black sea

2006-08-04T22:15:00.000+04:00

So we saw the Sufi show, it was one of the most spiritual rituals i have ever seen in my life, honestly. Reading what it was about of course made me understand and appreciate it that much more. It seems like an amazing journey.

The tukish really know how to make the most of waterfront property. The mountains are terraced so more people have the spectacular view. All the houses had glass fronts, large window panes to enjoy the sun even more. It was amazing.. We passed by a bridge thats bottom was filled with restaurants - great idea, then followed the curvy sea into the 'unpredicatble' water of the Black Sea. It was all very relaxing and gave a me a great tan.

After lunch we went back to the Bazaar, we didnt have enough the day before, and i got a gorgeous turkish lamp which i'm very excited about. Then in the evening i ventured out to Taksim square which was filled with life, all of Tukeyis youth were chilling and shopping or having coffee, it was great. I need to give my tukish friend a call....

So that's Istanbul.

Turkey 1: Istanbul - City of a thousand mosques.

2006-08-02T17:36:00.000+04:00

Well 2700 mosques actually, but who's counting?! Istanbul is... Beautiful to say the least, there is so much history it's amazing. There is so much i want to say about it, but i'm using dial-up and this turkish keyboard is very annoying so i don't know how long i can type!

After leaving the airport very pissed off because i left my book on the plane, we drove from the chaotic crowded airport to the hotel reminding me of egyptian streets, where 3 lanes really mean 5, and traffic lights are road decorations that people rarely notice or look at it, smile and keep driving regardless of the colour, it was what i was told, 'Istanbul is exactly like cairo except you don't speak they're language.' So that seemed true until we crossed the bridge into the european side onto cobble stone winding streets with old colourful buildıngs and narrow side streets filled with colourful items to buy. It was gorgeous, truly. This was the former Costantinople, which the Ottoman empire conquered and made it's capital in 1453. There are ruins dotted around the city, from the side of the roads to the gorgeous arched mosques, the relics of this empire which reigned for almost 700 years is apparent everywhere.

Our hotel is a small family run place that used to be something that i cant remember but it is unique, a little shocking at the begining, but it's very personal and so is the service. With views of the blue mosque on one side and the ocean on the other, i have nothing to complain about. We spent most of today outdoors anyway, and will spend the next days exploring the city so who needs a fancy hotel? (My parents, but they're content so it's ok!)

Our personal tour guide came to pick us up at 9am. First stop: The Sultan Ahmet Mosque aka. The Blue Mosque. It is not blue that's one thing i need to mention, but the insıde is lined with thousands of blue mosaic tiles. It is breathtaking to say the least. From the 6 minarets (its the only one in the world) to the beautiful domes to the courtyards to the blue tiles inside, it's gorgeous. I thought it would be the only one like that, but no, all the mosques built by the sultans of tha time were very similar, this one just being on a larger scale. I took loads of pictures and will upload them as soon as i get back (or if i find a computer that will take my memory card)

Next we saw more mosques and a Museum that was a Pagan temple in the 4th century BC then a church then a church again then a church one more time then a mosque and now a museum. There were relics of all 5 religious buildings. It was amazing to see all religious faiths influence this one building. After that it was the Topkapi Palace that's double the size of the Vatican housing 5000 people, it's over 500 years old, and had breathtaking views of the ocean and the rest of the city. It is also home to an 86 carat diamond and the prophet Mohammed's (pbuh) teeth, footprint and swords. As well as other islamic relics. It was too crowded though and hard to enjoy with all those people pushing.

After that was a great turkish lunch then off to the Grand Bazaar, home to over 4000 stores and 2000 little streets. You can find anything and everything, complete wth hot turkish salesmen and overpriced souvenirs, it was great! I got a couple of things after much haggling. I loved it, i loved the hustle and bustle and all the little corner shops wıth undiscovered treasures, i could've stayed there all day!

So thats been my day, internet cafe's are not easy to find which is very annoying. Tonite we're watching a Sufi show, which i,m very excited about since i had to find a good one myself as my parents were not too keen, but that's what were doing, then to another yummy turkish dinner. It's gonna be a busy 2 weeks. I'm looking forward to it. =)

Off to Turkey

2006-08-01T10:09:00.000+04:00

So i'm in Seeb International Airport, waiting for my flight to Dubai then Istanbul. It's gonna be an interesting trip to say the least, but i'm excited! I've always wanted to go to turkey, i haven't been to any of the countries in that region and i'm really excited to take lots of pictures and see everything there is to see and eat good kebab. Yummy... And of course spending a couple of days in Greece. It should be good, at least i'm hoping it will be. And if it's not, its just 2 weeks and i'll be back here. =D

Turkey.... I don't think i did enough research into all the things i'll want to do and see, but i guess i can do that when i get there right? Or if i'm really bored in the Dubai airport, i'm there for 4 hours. I've only ever been to that airport once, and i don't remember anything about it. When i was passing it on the road when i was in Dubai last week it lookes huge, and they're building a new terminal extending from the new terminal! So it should be interesting... Anyway, if ya'll have any requests from turkey, please, let me know.

Art

2006-07-31T15:28:00.000+04:00

I stumbled upon a beautiful site yesterday, some of the artists took my breath away, escpecially the phtographers. (i dont know how to add a link, someone needs to teach me that!) the address is http://www.deviantart.com. some of you may have heard of it, but it was my first time to see it.

It's basically a collection of different artists showing they're stuff, and they're scrap work, and some of them have blgs or journals as well. Your have to subscribe to it to display your work, but then you can submit them into competitions and you can even sell some of it. It's just amazing what some of the artists did..

I've always loved art, and always wanted to have some artistic talent. And i've tried, with very little sucess. But seriously, i mean alot of times when people draw or paint something people look at it and think 'ok, and that's art?!' but they need to think about whether or not they could ever come up with something like that, to even give birth to an idea that great, and most of the time the answer would be 'no'. Art is a beautiful thing, whether its visual or music or movies, whatever it is i think it's amazing.

Photography has intrigued me for the last few years, and i have camera with me all the time, wherever i go, just beacuse i know there'll be a moment i want to capture and never forget. My friends always complain that i take so many pictures, but then realise how beneficial it is. Seriously, pictures are great, i take hundreds. Artistically, i tried to take photographs, but they were nothing special, i think anyone can take nice photographs, because the owrld is so beautiful, but very few can take some ordinary and captuer it so beautifully, very few people have that eye. I know one. I still take pictures, i love to, but my dreams of doing something with my photographs dwindled when i really analysed them and realised they were ordinary. Brolly is an amazing photographer, and dude i think you have raw talent, and that's not very common, i can't wait to go to your first gallery opening, i will fly across the world for that day =D

Painting and drawing is another thing. If you haven't painted, then i think everyone should try it, just to see what your hands are capable of producing, its amazing, and liberating, it really is. Everyone has different styles, and it's amazing what colours you're drawn to, and how you combine it to make your first piece of art. It may not look like a Monet or Picasso, but like those two, everyone has completely different styles. It's amazing. I love being in Oman, paint is so much cheaper here, and just a 5 minute drive away, and i get to do it whenever i like. With that as well, i've produced very few pieces i'm proud of, but it really is exilerating.

Anyway, maybe one day i'll find my artistic calling, or maybe i already have but just don't know it yet. I always try new things, and love it when friends give me a project to make something or design something, and so they always do, just knowing i love it so much! But creativity is a quality i want to explore in myself, who knows what i may come up with?

'Art is the desire of a man to express himself, to record the reactions of his personality to the world he lives in.' - Amy Lowell

Random Thoughts

2006-07-29T02:49:00.000+04:00

The insomnia is back, or maybe it never left. All i know is, i can't sleep right now. Consumed by random thoughts, consumed by forgotten emotion. It's a strange feeling, seeing things in your minds eye and personifying them about the room. It's something i do a lot these day, especially at night, it helps me get lost in the world that is my mind.

I was thinking about the moon. There's a new moon tonight, first day of the lunar month. It's so beautiful, it's always beautiful, everytime it dies and is reborn, with even more beauty.

I was thinking about the stars. I haven't seen a sky filled with stars like how you get it in the dessert or in the country side in ages, i miss that, where the sky is just a carpet of jewels, so many you can hardly distinguish one from the other, where shapes and animals come alive, twinkling in a black night.

I was thinking about my niece, and how she fell asleep on my shoulder while i carried her as i walked down the beach, and how she was screaming and became so calm, mesmorised by the sound of the ocean, by the movement of the waves. How much i loved her, and how it's sad that i leave in 6 weeks, and when i come back in december (inshallah) she won't remember me.

I was thinking about the ocean, and how all my earliest memories were by it, how i spent many days and nights on the beach. I don't remember the first time i swam, but i do remember how much i loved it, fom a very early age, and how i cried the first time they put me in a pool. I still don't like swimming pools, that's what you get for growing up by the beach.

I was thinking about my dad, and how much he spoils me. How he's so strict because i will always be a child in his eyes, and he probably will never let that go. How he calls me his 'gift from god' even through text message when i'm in the UK. How he goes out of his way every business trip just to make sure i'm eating and living well. And how despite all this, i still get so angry at the smallest things, and want to cry after that for allowing myself to even get upset at such a kind gentle man.

I was thinking about all my friends, past and present, and what they've brought to my life, and how thinking of each and every one of them brings a smile to my face. How every memory makes me smile, even the bad ones. How they've taught me more than they can imagine, how they've touched me in ways they'd never know, how they'll probably never know how mnuch they mean to me, because i refuse to express deep emotion.

I was thinking about sleep, and how much i enjoy it, and all the sundays i've layed in bed, missing breakfast and lunch, with the laptop on my bed, listening to music. How she would ring my bell at 3pm and be shocked that i'm still in my pajamas, then drag me out for 'lunch' at dinner time, where we would explore a new restaurant. Cambridge is not the best place for food, but we loved it anyway. I miss u PFF.

I was thinking of the future and how i don't know what it holds, and have no idea what direction i'm going. It scares me that in 3 weeks, one phone call will determine the rest of my life, and i have no idea as to what direction it is going. I don't have a back up plan. I don't have a fallback. I don't have a clue.

I was thinking that i'm glad i started this blog, because i usually feel much better after i've poured my heart out, and that's exactly what i'm doing.

'Own only what you can carry with you; know language, know countries, know people. Let your memory be your travel bag.' - Alexander Solzhenitsyn

No More Friday Blues

2006-07-28T16:36:00.000+04:00

I remember when i was in school how i hated Fridays, it was routine, every single Friday. And of course there was the beginning of a new week the next day. But even on vacation, i still hated Fridays, i don't remember why now, because i think Fridays are great. So chilled, everything is closed in the morning, so you can just chill and do nothing, or sleep in. Then we have lunch my aunts where it's good to catch up with some relatives i hardly every see. Then there's the beach with my siblings and my brothers kids, and sometimes other cousins with they're kids, then chilling again, or spending time with friends or family. How can you not love a day like this? I don't remember. Maybe because i was a lot more restless, because everything was closed, that meant i couldn't escape the house to find something to do, and because i had school (or work) the next day i wouldn't usually go out at night, so maybe if i was studying here it would be different. But rite now i've been loving every Friday. Right now, i'm alone at home, doing nothing as i have been the whole summer, and i'm loving it! Just listening to music, or painting, or getting ready for the beach (we go at 5) I guess i've just become a lot more content at home, and don't feel the need to go out as much, or maybe it's because there aren't many people to go out with seeing as most of my friends are out of the country. I don't know what it is, but i don't get the Friday blues anymore - and i'm loving it.

'When we are unable to find tranquility within ourselves, it is useless to seek it elsewhere.' - Francois de La Rochefoucauld

Henna - Beauty of the East

2006-07-28T02:06:00.000+04:00

I put henna this morning. On the outsides of my hands and the tops of my feet. I think its beautiful, i'm just staring at my hands as i'm typing this because it's so pretty! I love henna, and i try to put it every time i come back, even if there isn't an occasion.

As a child, my mom used to take me to put henna couple of days before eid, i've always loved the look of it, from the very first time i put it. But the smell bothered me, especially when i was sleeping, and it bothered me that when i washed my mouth, i could taste henna, or when i was eating with my hands. So i stopped for a while, the smell and taste were too much for me to handle. Then, as a bride's maid for my cousin's wedding, i was asked to put it again, and i fell in love again, its just so beautiful, i love the rich red-brown colour. I love the way it looks on the skin, and i especially love watching the talented women drawing unique designs on the body with such ease, and very little effort.

I went alone this morning, because my cousin who was supposed to come with me over slept! It's ok, she's a mother and her daughter refused to sleep, but i didn't mind, i wanted henna and i really didn't mind going alone. So i walk into the store, and sit down. 15 mins later, this woman is working on my feet, and it was just so beautiful. See for youself! For my hands, i asked to have 2 different designs, just so that i could stare at them and entertain myself. 35 mins later, i was done, and my feet were already dry. I waited 10 mins for my right hand to dry so i could drive back home, and by the time i was home, my left hand was dry as well. All i wanted to do was stare at it, even though it was still orange and the patterns were not so obvious. Now it's a gorgeous colour. Can you tell i'm in love with it? I am! I'm fascinated, and mesmorised by the colour and beauty of it.

Although henna is very popular and cultural in the Arab world, the designs often seen now are of Indian origin, where it is usually put for brides and grooms before they're wedding. The henna plant grows in north Africa, and most of southern Asia, where the dry leaves are ground into a fine powder and mixed with lemon juice for the dye to be extracted and used. It is also used as a temporary hair dye. Henna has been around for thousands of years, dating back to the bronze ages. Every culture has they're own unique style and design, and can be distinguished form each other, even if the exact same type of henna is used. A common modern day example is if you go to a salon to get it down (like i did this morning) they'll ask you if you want the emarati style or the Indian style. The Indian style (like mine) is more intricate work, with smaller designs. Whereas the emarati one usually spans across the whole area of the hand but the designs are a lot bigger and more floral.

The black henna that's used in the west for 'henna tattoos' sometimes are not henna at all, they are usually black hair dye derivatives which can be very harmful for the skin, or it is the traditional red henna mixed with stuff to make it black. In Sudan, the henna is black, but that is because instead of extracting the colour using lime juice, they use tea leaves which makes the paste very dark. I personally prefer the red henna, because i think the colour is so beautiful on skin.

I've always thought henna was beautiful, and i love how accessible and easy it is to get done here, and i hope to get it done again before i leave. I love it. Can't u see why?!

'The ability to see beauty is the beginning of our moral sensibility. What we believe is beautiful we will not wantonly destroy.' - Sean Parker Dennis

Traffic in the Sky

2006-07-25T15:21:00.000+04:00

Verbose, this is for you..

There's traffic in the sky
And it doesn't seem to be getting much better
There's kids playing games on the pavement
Drawing waves on the pavement
Shadows of the planes on the pavement
Its enough to make me cry
But that don't seem like it would make it feel better
Maybe its a dream and if I scream
It will burst at the seams
This whole place will fall to pieces
And then they'd say...

Well how could we have known?
I'll tell them it's not so hard to tell
If you keep on adding stones
Soon the water will be lost in the well

Puzzle pieces in the ground
But no one ever seems to be digging
Instead they're looking up towards the heavens
With their eyes on the heavens
There are shadows on the way to the heavens
It's enough to make me cry
But that don't seem like it would make it feel better
The answers could be found
We could learn from digging down
But no one ever seems to be digging
Instead they'll say...

Well how could we have known?
I'll tell them it's not so hard to tell
If you keep on adding stones
Soon the water will be lost in the well

Words of wisdom all around
But no one ever seems to listen
They're talking about their plans on paper
Building up from the pavement
There are shadows from the scrapers on the pavement
It's enough to make me sigh
But that don't seem like it would make it feel better
The words are still around
But the words are only sounds
And no one ever seems to listen
Instead they'll say

Well how could we have known?
I'll tell them it's not so hard to tell
If you keep on adding stones
Soon the water will be lost in the well

- Jack Johnson

Rejection & Denial

2006-07-25T01:08:00.000+04:00

Ever like someone that just wasn't into you, and you'd make every excuse to let them down easily but they just dont get? Or do that to someone? Come on... be real. I know all of you out there have done it, or had it done. It part of life - rejection always happens in one form another, how do u handle it? Probably in denial, like most people, and keep trying even though some part of you know that nothing is gonna happen. Either in hope of them changing they're mind, or because you actually believe there's a chance, denial is usually the first way people handle rejection.

It human nature not to take rejection well, i know i don't, whatever it is; a job, a university, a relationship, rejection is just not something us humans handle well. I was inspired by this garfield comic i stumbled upon and realised how prevalent it is. It happens everyday, whether it's ignoring someone's call or ignoring someone's flirtatious comments, or outright saying no, rejection happens to everyone everyday.

Honesty is usually the best policy, its alot better if you just tell the person you don't want them instead of going through obstacles and hinting for them to get the point, because most of the time, they just don't get it. And you keep doing it for so long, until eventually they get it, and are so hurt and upset that they bothered for so long, they just wish you told them from the begining. There are many reasons for delaying rejection: Guilt, you don't wanna be mean and just say no, because you'll feel bad. Flattery, you enjoy them flirting with you, and like the attention even if your not interested. Hesitation, you're not sure if you're interested yet, and wanna string the other person along just incase you change your mind or decide to go for it. Now it may sound cruel when you break it down like this, but if you remove all the sugar coating, this is the truth, and i can't think of any other reason that a person wouldn't just say 'no, i dont want you, i'm sorry.'

I've done it, as i'm sure you all have, and had it done to me (i'm not going into details about that!) But now, i'm just more aware, and more frank about. I think the thing that made me read the signs easier was Sex and the City (i love that show!) when Burger told Miranda 'he's just not into you' and it was so true, i don't know how the male psyche works, but i know girls are usually waiting for the guy to call and making all sorts of excuses as to why it's taking so long when the fact is the guy is probably still deciding whether he's interested or not!

I can think of so many stories about people trying to tell someone they're not interested in a nice way. My cousin once had a guy interested in marrying her, and she really wasn't and she made sure he knew, but he refused to believe it, so one day (she was living with us at the time) he came over to talk to her, and when she was told he was waiting in the hall for him, she told me that in exactly five minutes i should call the house and she'd pick up, and i should say that there was some urgent matter happening that required her to leave the house and come and rescue me! I felt so sorry for the poor guy, he was sprung, it was so obvious. I wasn't willing to do that, i felt really sorry for him, i tried to convince her that there must be another way, but as he was waiting she had to rush out of the room, so reluctantly i did as she had requested, and he left the house. He obviously got the point, because that was the last we saw of him! Anyway, she's happily married now with 3 kids, and so is he, so it all worked out in the end.

I'm sure everyone can think of some funny story that happened to them, and i'm sure most people don't realise that other's are laughing at rejecting them too! Anyway, all i'm trying to say is that i'm sure there's another solution to this, but it's so hard to hurt someone's feelings intentionaly, i know i can't anyway.

In conclusion: there isn't one, it was just something i was thinking about.

'Rejection is the symbol of wantism' - LYM ;-)

Solitude

2006-07-24T00:24:00.000+04:00

This trip has been unusual. I haven't been out at all, i spend most of my time at home, and if i do go out, its with my brother who i already spend the whole day with anyway. I haven't been in the mood to meet up with friends at all. When i do i have a great time, and wonder why i'm not doing it more often, but the fact is, i don't. I always make excuses for myself: i'm busy, i'm babysitting, i'm tired, i'm sick.. whatever it is, it's not that i'm telling that to the people that wanna chill, i actually believe them myself. But the truth is, i just wanna enjoy my time alone.

I don't remember ever being like this, i used to look for any excuse to leave the house, even if it was to pick up food or rent a DVD, i just needed those few minutes to drive and breathe, and now, i've become so content just sitting in my room with my music reading a book, or painting, or surfing the net. Half the time i'm just lost in thought. Thoughts i wish i could share, thoughts i feel the need to keep to myself, thoughts i think no one else will understand.

I don't like being so detached, but at the same time, as cheesy as it might sound, i feel its good for me, like i'm finding myself in a way, or at least looking, but all i seem to get is lost. I'm not upset or anything, i just have alot on my mind, and it just winds and winds into a tangled web that i can get caught up in sometimes, but only when i'm alone.

I don't know the cause of my sudden solitude, maybe its him, maybe it's her, maybe it's leaving Cambridge, maybe it's just being back and absorbing it all, or maybe it's just becuase i'm on holiday and i'm taking a break from everything. Whatever it is, it does keep me up at night, and it does consume my thoughts.

'The power to bring me out of solitude - or to push me back into it - had never belonged to another person. It was mine and only mine.' - Martha Beck

Happy Birhthday, Mom & Oman

2006-07-23T16:23:00.000+04:00

My mom turned 57 today, maybe i shouldn't be advertising this, but she's aging really well so i'm hoping she won't mind. =) We took her to Barr Al Jissah for lunch, to a restaurant called Al Tanoor. The food was amazing. It was a buffet, which i'm not usually a fan of, but it was amazing, seriously. The place is beautiful, it's a great location, the views were just spectacular. I don't think manny places can match Oman's beaches. Yeah there are beautiful beaches out there, but most of them are foresty then you come onto a beach, which for us, coming from the dessert is amazing. But when you think about it, Oman is so mountainous and you drive only seeing sand and rock, and all of a sudden, you reach the top, and in front of you is endless pristine blkue water, that's almost golden with the reflected rays of the sunl. It's amazing, really, it takes my breath away every time.

Anyway, it was my first time to the newly opened Shangri-La managed resort, and i was very impressed. Not only with what they did with the place, but also with the amount of tourists that were roaming the area. It seems to be picking up, which is just what our country needs. Truly. I haven't heard very good things about the place, but i liked it. The service at the restaurant and the reception was good, although they really need to introduce valet parking, the car park was miles away, and my father was not impressed to say the least. They've done alot with Oman, and i'm proud of it, but they could do so much more.

So we walk into the restaurant to be greeted with smiles, and when i was walking around the buffets chosing what i wanted to eat, i realised all the chefs were Omani! except for one lebanese. But i have never seen that before, and it really made me happy. They were very friendly, and the food was excelent. And then i realised: It's been 36th national day!! I would love to give history about this day, but i'm a little lazy, and seeing as my niece is on my lap, it's kinda hard to type. But yeah, today is the real Omani national day, 23rd of july. So Happy National day!

'Personally I think birthdays and anniversaries are like menstrual cramps, a regular pain in the ass that's somehow connected to birth.' - Hugh Elliot

Movie Review

2006-07-23T02:40:00.000+04:00

I've already stated how much i love movies, cartoons are no different. I never stopped enjoying them, people laugh at me all the time, but i'm not ashamed to admit it: I love cartoons.

Over the hedge was one of the funniest cartoons i've watched in a while. It was hillarious, really! For kids, aldults.. Basically fun for the whole family. And i wouldn recommend it to anyone and everyone. You don't need to be a cartoon lover to enjoy this. It's great! Seriously! I kid you not... I can't really summarise the movie without spoiling it, but its about a bunch of animals who want to steal food from the humans, and in order to do that, they need to go to the other side of the hedge.

There are loads of famous voices featured, from Bruce Willis, to Avril Lavigne. And the characters are just amazing. Seriously. I really really enjoyed it. So go watch it! All of u.

'Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.' - Edward De Bono

Dubai

2006-07-22T03:12:00.000+04:00

It's been 2 years since the last time i've been to Dubai, and as usual there are cranes everywhere( i read on Wikipedia that 15% of the worlds cranes are in Dubai!!). That city is constantly under construction, and hardly recognisable everytime i go back, (eeing as i only go once a year if not less.) It's amazing the amount of high-rises built/being built. Sheikh Rashid Bin Maktoum clearly had a vision, and after the first sky scrapers were built in the middle of the dessert, people, i'm sure, thought he was out of his mind. But he certainly put Dubai on the map, and now, 40 years later, Dubai is a booming city, and its only getting bigger.

To me, it's not perfect. Although the Maktooms did a fantastic job at making Dubai the centre of the middle east, it is run mainly by foreigners and only 19% of the Dubai population are locals. Thats a tiny figure, and it's a shame really, it would've been nice to know that Dubai is where it is because our neighbours are capable of running such a city, and they might be, i'm not doubting that, but the fact of the matter is - they are not. I give them credit for pumping all that money into it, every week i hear of another multi billion dollar project thats due to start soon, or has already started, or already been completed. And i definately give them credit for they're efficiency (but i guess thats to the poor construction workers who work day and night for peanuts) at building all of this in such a short span of time; and this is only the beginning. When burj Dubai, and the new downtown is completed in 2008, Dubai will not only be one of the most succesful cities in the world, it will also be home to the tallest building in the world (Burj Duba), the biggest mall in the world (the Dubai Mall), and all those crazy islands they're building. If that's not enough to attract attention, there are many 'cities' coming up that will be the centre of many major buisness coorporations (Internet City, Media City, Buisness Bay, etc..)

Although oil is the reason Dubai was able to start building and developing itself, it is now only 6% of the city's GDP, which is a tiny percentage compared with the other emirates and the rest of the oil producing gulf states. So for all of those skeptical arabs who thought in a few years dubai wouldn't last because it will never make back the money it's pumping in - the stats dont lie, Dubai is making more money than anyone could've imagined. And will all the foreign investments that keep getting bigger and bigger, they're not gonna stop.

damage that they're doing (from all the marine life that's being destroyed to all the sand thaAlmost anywhere in Dubai now is prime real estate, and now is the time to buy, while they're still building it up. I was researching the islands they're building - it's amazing. There are 3 'palms' in Jumeirah, Deira, and Jebel Ali. Jumeirah is almost done, and people have already started moving there. I personally think it's beautiful, if you can ignore the environmentalt is being put to create it, and of course all the boats that will be going to and from these places that will be pouring fuel into the ocean) it's quite a site, especially from the air. Then apart from the palms, there's the World, where the world is consistent of a bunch of island in the ocean. So far, one villa has already been built on greenland. And recently construction of Dubai Waterfront has been anounced, where more islands are being built close to Jebel Ali. 'In February 2005, the construction of Dubai Waterfront was announced, it will be 2½ times the size of Washington D.C., roughly seven times the size of the island of Manhattan. Dubai Waterfront will be a mix of canals and islands full of hotels and residential areas that will add 500 miles of man-made waterfront. It will also contain Al Burj, another one of the tallest buildings in the world.' Isn't that crazy. Honestly, i can't fathom it. To me, all of it sounds rediculous, but in a good way, if that makes sense.

Dubai is amazing, it has everything a big metropolitan city has to offer, but driving around the last couple of days made me almost feel sorry for them, there is nothing authentic, no culture at all. My sis-in-law this morning said she wanted to go to a 'souq sha3by' (a local market) but we could not find one, there's is Souq Madina Jumeirah, but it was built to look like an arabic souq, it wasn't one that the locals were already shopping in. There is nothing that was truly arabic except for the red dessert sand dunes in the distance all the black 3abayas and white dishdashas (or it's equivilent. i don't know what the emaraty one is called!) Which is a shame really. Any cultural tourist spot was built for tourists, it's not authentic at all. But i guess you can always visit one of the other Emirates to get authenticity.

I had a great weekend. Got a bit of shopping done. Dubai is great for a weekend, but it's not a place i would make my home. I don't see that happening. Not for me anyway.

'The more repidly a civilization progresses, the sooner it dies for another to rise in it's place. ' Havelock Ellis.

Movie Review

2006-07-20T01:55:00.000+04:00

I LOVE MOVIES! I just needed to state that first. I love them, any time any day. And i'm not that picky with movies, i mean if its absolute rubbish, then there's no argument, but i generally enjoy movies, and i love movies from all over the world. Having said that, i've been sucked into the bollywood craze. I love indian movies, i usually fast forward the singing and dancing (when watching it on DVD) but i love the drama action and often far-fetched love stories.

Raincoat is not your typical indian movie, no singing in the rain, no synchronised dancing to one song in different parts of the world, and no hero that can defeat 10 armed men with a single loud punch and come out with barely a scratch and alot of attitude. It was beautifully made, a little slow to start off with, but the whole movie was 2 hours long and it was all talking, no action.

It's one of those movies that you like or don't, i can see people getting frustrated because absolutley nothing happens. It's one rainy afternoon and old sweethearts relive the past. All they do is talk yet they say nothing of real substance. But it's what they don't say, and why they're not saying it that brings out all the emotion, and i found myself speechless at the end, feeling pity and admiration for both the main characters.

Ashwariya Rai is one of the most beautiful women in the whole (i think) and she does a great job. I really liked this movie, i would definately recommend it to everyone, but with a warning that it's all talk, and you have to be prepared for 120 minutes of that. ThanQ verbose for getting it for me. =)

*****************************

On another note, i'm going to Dubai with my siblings in 7 hours. I haven't been to Dubai since june 2004, and i'm sure it's changed alot. I'm actually quite excited and looking forward to doing some shopping =D

I can't sleep though, and i know i'm gonna be VERY cranky when i have to wake up in 6 hours, oh well.. Dubai here i come!

'Acting is not being emotional, but being able to express emotion' - Kate Reid

Computer: Friend or Foe?

2006-07-19T17:14:00.000+04:00

I think its amazing how everything is online, i just payed my UK phone bill online, and before that i checked my acount balance to make sure i have money to pay the other bills. When i tell my parents 'i'll cehck online' they look at me like the internet is the devil. My father will never book anything online because he doesn't trust putting his acount information, i don't blame him. But for our generation, everything is online, i personally have never paid a bill other than on the internt, i have never been to a travel agent to plan a trip, everything is online. Herein lies the problem. I am definately a victim of relying on my computer, my life is on my laptop. All my assignments/projects, all my pictures, and all my music. I cried last march when my computer crashed and had to be rebooted and i lost everything. I learnt the hard way that i had to back everything up. But even if i do, its backed up on an external hard drive (which can also crash) or a CD (which can be scratched or lost) or a USB key (which can also be damaged). Then again, back in the day it was all paper which could be lost or torn or burnt, so its not much better.

I fall under the category of someone who as the very basic knowledge, enough to get the things done and rely on it, but when something goes wrong, i'm in complete and utter confusion because i don't understand the workings of it! which is really not a good combination. Although i think the itnernet is amazing for having absolutely EVERYTHING on it, i honestly think its hard to navigate. I'm sure i'm not alone when i say i've been searching for information about a certain topic and because there's so much information about it, it would take hours to actually find what you're looking for. You have to be skilled to filter out the crap. I'm sure many people will disagree, and maybe its just me typing the wrong key words but i personally find it hard to find exactly what i'm looking for quickly.

Yet, despite all of this, i spend as much time on the internet as the next person, and that's alot. No one can deny how lazy computers have made people, everything is done at the touch of a button. For the skeptical/superstitous, this means its the end of humanity, where computers take over the world and man will be absolete. Dramatic, i know, but for our grandmothers, they have gone from just accepting the television to seeing the world controlled by a computer, you have to admit, that's quite a scary vision!

So i leave this to you bloggers who i'm sure spend as much time on the internet as me - could you live without it?

'Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up.' - James Magary

Emotions

2006-07-19T00:50:00.000+04:00

I can't count the numbers of times i cried myself to sleep, but i don't remember the last time i did. For a year, i thought that was a good thing, i no longer cried, not much was worth my tears, and if it was, not many tears. A couple of years ago, i cried almost every nite, yet i can't remember it being a sad time in my life. It was just very very emotional, and i can become overcome with emotion sometimes, especially that time in my life. I cried myself to sleep after feeling like my heart was ripped out, i've broken glass and other things after throwing them against the wall out of anger, i've sat in the car by the beach just thinking for hours, not knowing what i was gonna do. But now, thinking back, i really don't remember what got me so emotional. I have never done that again.

"I am as empty as the ocean"

After that time in my life, i decided that i wasn't gonna let myself get lost in my emotions again, but it wasn't a promise set in stone, morel ike a goal that would take alot of work to achieve. I was surprised that i didn't have to work, and it soon became me. I no longer cry, i don't remember the last time i did. I no longer get angry, i can't remember what that feels like. I am still lost in thought, but rarely do i lose sleep wondering what to do. It scares me sometimes how i can detach my emotions comepletely sometimes from a situation. I have been called heartless a number of times.

Swinging from one extreme to another is never a good thing, but i don't remember this transition at all. I also cannot recall a life changing experience that has caused such a dramatic change, but i have become this person. And although it is alot easier for me to deal with things, and certain people, i have seen people get hurt over my apathy, and that is something i never wanted to do. I still get very emotional, but it's a completely different feeling, almost confused, a feeling that swings between the two extremes almost simultaneously.

Now is one of those moments.. And for some reason, i'm having trouble expressing it, thats the worst feeling of all. I don't mean wording my emotions, i mean expressing it to myself and understanding it. I think it's saying goodbye, i'm not very good at that, but i'm getting better, i think the constant goodbye's and 'see u later's every semester have made it easier to detach emotions from farewells. Its still hard, hence the emotional confusion right now, but easier than it was two years ago. It's all part and parcel of growing up right?

'Where we have strong emotions, we're liable to fool ourselves.' - Carl Sagan

My Blog & My Day

2006-07-17T11:54:00.000+04:00

So just when i think i've put the final touches on my blog, i find out its still hard to navigate! I thought the little 'click on Xs to navigate' was clear? i guess not... But please, do give me suggestions on anything i can do to make it easier to navigate and find ur way around. Please! It would reall suck if people stopped visited the blog just because it was hard to go around, i mean if the content was boring people to death, then thats understandable, but just because of the layout? That would just be a shame. So please, any suggestions would be greatly appreciated =)

It's days like today, and images like this that make me love being back, that leave a smile on my face that stays untill i fall asleep. I wake up, only to find out brolly is back. What better way to start off my day? So after getting a great big hug, and a long drive filled with catching up on the last 2 months since we've seen each other, i go home to have lunch with family, and shower my nieces with love (they're gonna be so spoilt! and i know i'm gonna be part of the reason!). After that i was babysitting till my sis-in-law came to pick them up and i went to meet another friend and deicded i missed the gorgeous Omani sunsets, so we went to the beach, and i was speachless. I love the sunset, i always have, i can't count the number of pictures i've taken of it, and i can't think of anywhere else that can match the sunsets we have, especially the ones by the water. It took my breath away, it always does. And i'm glad i got to watch it with someone that enjoyed it just as much as i did.

Anyway, I then went to meet brolly, for a very dramatic bathroom encounter, and then dinner with more friends. I missed this all, the family, the friends, the beach, the drama, the relaxed life. It's great to be back, i'm loving every minute, even the boredom, which i can assure there isn't a lack of! Today was great, it really was. I wouldn't have it any other way.

'Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy.' - Anne Frank

Death & Politics

2006-07-16T23:56:00.000+04:00

Death has always been something that i've had to deal with. My earliest memory is my grandmother crying because my cousin drowned at the age of 4, we were best friends (or as close as 4 year olds can be). But despite that, it's never been something i was good at dealing with..

Today, i had lunch with my mom after she came back from 2 different funerals. It was normal lunch conversation, I went shopping, she went to funerals.
After that, we switched on the T.V to be confronted with more death: Iraq, Lebanon, Palestine, India, Pakistan, Afghanistan. The whole of the eastern part of the world is up in smoke, and nothing is being done. And that is not including everything that's been going on in africa, where more people die every minute. I felt a huge knot in my stomach. I feel it every time i watch the news.

I have never liked discussing politics, it's just not something i do. Probably because i don't understand, and i can't express an opinion well if i don't understand it. There are so many 'why's, so many 'how could they's. All i wanna do is SCREAM! What is to become of our world? How long untill war spreads all over the east? It doesn't really have that far to go..

'Politics is war without bloodshed while war is politics with bloodshed.' - Mao Tse-Tung

21 Mill Road

2006-07-16T17:07:00.000+04:00

As i go about my day, doing nothing, or something, whatever it may be, i suddenly get flashes of things. I keep remembering how much i've changed, and how detached i've become to alot of things.

These flashes have been happening ever since i left Cambridge, but after the phone clal yesterday, its all i can think about. I guess its the fact that i'm not going back, that when i leave oman again i'm gonna be moving to a new city, having to start all over again, meet a whole new bunch of ppl again, look for a place to live and all that stuff, as well as deal with studying something completely new. Its all exciting, i must admit, i can't wait to see what the future holds, i really can't, but still, i can't help but feel nostalgic.

I'm a lil emotional today, thats all.

So 21 mill road... My home away from home.. I miss walking in at any hour of the day or nite knowing that someone was gonna be there, and not be shocked at all that i was walking in, whether its with a key that didnt belong to me, or through a window, or me throwing pebbles at the windows and having passers by look at me like i'm psychotic, or thru the secret back door thats never locked. I miss the food that was cooked for everyone, not just the 6 friends that lived there, but for the 6 others that were gonna drop by, and were sure to be fed at any hour of the nite. I miss the drama that come with having girlfriends, the fights for no reason (which i was usually a spectator) when girls were being girls. I miss the walk, down hills road where i would stop and get a BIG coffee at Savino's, turn left into Parker's Piece where if it was sunny i was sure to bump into someone, and then onto Mill Road, past Fagito's (chip shop) where the guy would wave recognising me, and on the left written in gold '21' on the blue door. I miss mill road, that was sure to provide music and entertainment any day any time, whether it was 21 having a house party, or the drunk drummer that would not stop, or the beggar that took pictures of those generous enough to spare some change. I miss it all. It was the hardest goodbye i've ever said, because i know deep down that that was it.

My bicycle! I left it there.. i hope someone is taking care of it. That poor thing, it was abused. I left it in the rain for the 6 months of winter, cuz i couldn't be bothered to ride it, and by may when i decided to start riding it again, it was so rusted that i had to practically beat it into shape! Anyway, i'm sure someone is making good use of it, someone always is.

21, u were good to me.

'My home is not a place, it is people.' - Lois McMaster Bujold.

Funny Prank

2006-07-14T11:25:00.000+04:00

I really Do have alot of time on my hands.. all i seem to do is surf the net! And that was something i NEVER did..
Anyway, i thought this was hillarious!
More later..

Oh! By the way, if u have Firefox, u wont be able to see the video, i dont know why, so get on explorer or something else and watch it!

'Total absence of humour renders life impossible' - Colette

First real post

2006-07-13T23:37:00.000+04:00

WOW! ME blogging.. i guess i'm not used to it yet. probably cuz this is my first post! YEAY! my first post!! i'm actually quite excited. i'm not too sure why...

Anyway.. moving on.. Building this blog has been quite something. I'm computer illiterate, and all this HTML stuff mite as well be written in chinese, but being back home has given me alot of free time, and i didnt really have anything else to do, so i decided, why not? I'm pretty proud of it actually, it took alot of time and effort, and it's not perfect yet, but i'm working on it! Like i know its hard to figure out that the 'X's r links to the rest of the blog so i need to write down somewhere somehow that thats what u use to navigate.. altho it IS written at the very bottom of the explorer window, but then again, who really looks at that rite? So i need to write that somewhere else, i've tried, but its not showing up for some reason.

I dont know about this whole blogging thing to be perfectly honest. There r a million and one thoughts and ideas (most of them nonsensical) running thru my head and i always wanted to have my own space to just throw things onto, but i guess i've given in too late, i shoulda started this 2 years ago, and documented the whole cambridge thing, but oh well.. better late than never, rite?
So thats it.. Welcome - whoever u r that managed to figure out that the X leads to this (unless i told u that is)

'If little else, the brain is an educational toy.' - Tom Robbins

Test

2006-07-12T00:46:00.000+04:00

Whilst i edit the layout of the blog, this is a test entry. (mainly because i cant think of what to write yet!)
its a work in progress.. bear with me...